Anna does not like tags. She actually lives with them well on her own clothing where they are not visible to her. It's not exactly about comfort. It seems to be about aesthetics. Her dolls, stuffed animals, doll clothes - almost all of them have been operated on with my scissors so as to be free of any unsightly tags.
Lately the post-dinner ritual includes Anna and Blake rough-housing before bath. This includes dancing and racing or flying around the "track" from our kitchen to foyer to family room and back. It also recently includes Anna playing bumble bee and 'stinging' Blake with her butt, Blake falling to the ground in a blithering heap, and Anna returning to hug and kiss his stung body part. She's quick to sting him again.
Anna has been eating lettuce, spinach, and kale like it's candy. I'm a little weary of saying these words out loud - I don't want it to stop. She asks for second helpings of these vegetables almost every time we eat them, loaded of course with the most expensive aged balsamic vinegar around.
Last week Anna was obsessed with the old "new" animal carrier toy we found. More than a year ago Blake's supervisor invited us over, and we were gifted a little animal cage. Anna's little blue dog, the one Mo D found that is a replica of her big blue dog, needed a crate like Riley's. When we pulled it out of hiding, she spent DAYS playing with Ocho, the little blue dog. She filled the crate with handfuls of toys, took them out, put them back in, and took them out again more times than I could count. She was ecstatic about this.
While Anna still loves diapering her dolls, she's been more and more focused on building and designing. She builds with her legos, she makes boxes and homes out of her magna-tiles for her plastic bugs and lego animals and stickers, she creates intricate designs with her pop beads. I often find surprises waiting for me in magnetic pyramids and cubes that are laying around.
Before I fall asleep at night, before I even open my book to read, I've been in the habit of spending at least a few minutes browsing the latest celebrity news on my iPhone People app. Everyday. I usually skip Facebook, I don't have a Twitter account, I'm just dabbling on Pinterest. The People app gets most of my attention. Not exactly sure what this says about me.
I'm fourteen weeks pregnant tomorrow. Outside of the craziness of the last week or so, and the exhaustion that I still feel, I haven't been very focused on the pregnancy. I kinda even feel a little guilty about it, the lack of attention given to the little one growing inside me, that is. It's definitely good in a way, though. With Anna, I was a typical first time pregnant mom, obsessed with all the details. This time, I've done little to no reading or reminding myself of the 'shoulds' (which creates less anxiety), and I have yet to think about the nursery or things I'll need to buy this time around. I'm focused mostly on the day-to-day, staying busy with Anna and with life. I can see how a second child will be easier, with respect to worrying less about their fragility and how you care for them as a newborn. I can see how a second child is harder, though, too. The fatigue of raising one and housing a developing new one in my body is just a preview.
Speaking of this, I think the laziness Blake and I've been tending towards must be our way of stocking up while we still have the freedom. Neither of us are too motivated to do much of anything after Anna goes to bed...at 7pm! The kitchen usually gets cleaned to some degree by Blake if I cooked. They toys do not get picked up regularly. The mail is mostly ignored. The non-emergency items on the To Do list get moved from one day to the next to the next. The tools used for hanging pictures two weeks ago are still sitting on the chair. On another chair are the remnants of my reframing project. The top of the garbage can that's been blowing around in our yard? It's found a permanent place in the grass behind the deck. This is NOT my preferred way of keeping house. The cleaning people come tomorrow, though, so if you want to visit, come soon.
Somehow it's escaped this blog that we finally decided on a preschool for Anna next year. It was, for me, an agonizing decision. There's no "right" answer, but oh, I wished for one. In the end, the pros outweighed the cons (like the drive time and the lack of emphasis on time outside, which I figure Anna gets plenty of at home). And, ultimately, none of the other options FELT as right as this one. We're thrilled in so many ways about the school she'll be attending. She's actually pretty excited, too. The classroom even has a pet guinea pig, Professor, which was a major draw for her. The 25-minute drive though! When my pregnancy insomnia is in full swing as it was last week, I start questioning the logistics of afternoon (11:55am) drop off and (3:00pm) pick up with naps for a six or nine month old.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Happy Valentine's Day
Blake and I have been together for almost 10 years, and we have not yet celebrated Valentine's Day. I can't remember exactly how the conversation went so many years ago, but Blake basically said he felt like it was just another "Hallmark holiday," and that it would make more sense, if we really wanted to celebrate our love, to do it on a day that has meaning for us. I thought this was a fine idea, so, we made our own day of celebration on November 1st, the anniversary of when we started dating.
Every year on November 1st, I gave Blake a letter reflecting on our previous year together. Every year, we'd have a date night to celebrate. The year after Anna was born, the letter didn't come until December, and there was no date night planned. The year after that, I think we both forgot about November 1st entirely. Until today I actually thought last year was the first year that I failed to write the letter. I went searching for them on our computers, and 2008 was the last to be found (I'm still searching for 03 and 04 as well, which I KNOW were written). That's how quickly time is moving in our lives.
The moral of this story, for me, is that while Valentine's Day might hold more meaning when it's on a day special to us, we apparently could benefit from the reminder from television, restaurants, co-workers, friends, classmates, and Hallmark that the day to celebrate our love is upon us. Since November 1st came and went again this year, I've decided to break the rules and write a letter to Blake on Valentine's Day.
And, with Anna at the age where she hears about this kind of thing and gets excited about it all, she and I also made a few little gifts for Blake.
These yarn hearts were a Pinterest discovery at this website. The cornstarch glue was much thicker than I expected, so we just "painted" it onto the yarn with our fingers. We did speed the drying process by putting them in the oven. Fun, easy, and adorable!
I think I saw this frame idea initially on Pinterest as well, but my friend's recent post reminded me of it. I just printed text on some heavy-weight scrapbook paper, cut it to the appropriate size, and put it in an old frame. With a dry erase marker we can take turns writing messages for each other, and maybe for ourselves as well. It's my hope that the frame will help us nurture our relationship a little bit more every day of the year, not just on special occasions.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Every year on November 1st, I gave Blake a letter reflecting on our previous year together. Every year, we'd have a date night to celebrate. The year after Anna was born, the letter didn't come until December, and there was no date night planned. The year after that, I think we both forgot about November 1st entirely. Until today I actually thought last year was the first year that I failed to write the letter. I went searching for them on our computers, and 2008 was the last to be found (I'm still searching for 03 and 04 as well, which I KNOW were written). That's how quickly time is moving in our lives.
The moral of this story, for me, is that while Valentine's Day might hold more meaning when it's on a day special to us, we apparently could benefit from the reminder from television, restaurants, co-workers, friends, classmates, and Hallmark that the day to celebrate our love is upon us. Since November 1st came and went again this year, I've decided to break the rules and write a letter to Blake on Valentine's Day.
And, with Anna at the age where she hears about this kind of thing and gets excited about it all, she and I also made a few little gifts for Blake.
These yarn hearts were a Pinterest discovery at this website. The cornstarch glue was much thicker than I expected, so we just "painted" it onto the yarn with our fingers. We did speed the drying process by putting them in the oven. Fun, easy, and adorable!
I think I saw this frame idea initially on Pinterest as well, but my friend's recent post reminded me of it. I just printed text on some heavy-weight scrapbook paper, cut it to the appropriate size, and put it in an old frame. With a dry erase marker we can take turns writing messages for each other, and maybe for ourselves as well. It's my hope that the frame will help us nurture our relationship a little bit more every day of the year, not just on special occasions.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Spiritual Statistics
As of late, I've been wishing for some way to understand just how science and nature, or spirit, work together, or not. What's causing all the philosophical rumination? A baby, of course!
We can finally announce here on the blog that our family of three is expecting another baby in mid-August. It feels good to be able to write about it. It is, after all, a big part of what's happening in our lives, and it's been noticeably absent from this record for the last thirteen weeks.
We shared the news with Anna this weekend, which was, for us, so very exciting and special. I'd prepared myself for some very tough questions, but I think those will be coming later. Throughout the day, after we told her, we could literally see questions forming on her face. They were all about the baby, though. She was so focused on having a REAL baby in the house, one that can REALLY have his or her diaper changed, one that will cry, eat, sleep, poop, and drink milk. She is so excited to be a big sister. We are so excited for her. Of course, we're excited for us, too.
As far as the pregnancy goes, I've been so fortunate NOT to have morning sickness. I have been extremely and typically exhausted, moreso than last time. I've also been having more cravings than I did with Anna...pickles (cliche, I know), mustard, carbs carbs carbs, ice cream, chocolate please. Forget the veggies I usually love.
This pregnancy has it's own challenges, though. I feel like this one's been all about statistics...three percent, four percent, five percent. Our baby has a three percent chance of developing heart block due to an antibody I have in my blood. We have already made agonizing decisions about treatment if this were to develop, decisions which, to me, seem out the realm of any parents decision-making ability. Due to my "advanced maternal age," or as I like to call it, the geriatric pregnancy, we were offered a First Trimester Screening to assess our baby's risk chromosomal abnormalities. This revealed the baby has a four percent chance of having Down's Syndrome. And, after two days of spotting this week, we were told we still have a five percent chance of having a miscarriage. While the odds seem to be in our favor, the risks for heart block and DS are much higher than in the average population. And as our high-risk doctor pointed out, the only numbers that make a parent feel any relief are 0 percent and 100 percent. Needless to say, Blake and I have struggled to find peace and calm these last few weeks.
A conversation with a dear friend this weekend helped me to remember some things, things that we can easily lose sight of in our medicalized society: 1) While there is so much we know about pregnancy and keeping mom and baby healthy, there's a lot that cannot be explained. It is, after all, a miraculous process unfolding inside; 2) We have very little control. We can do a lot to ensure a healthy pregnancy, but there are some things we can do absolutely nothing about. What will be, will be; 3) Trust the process. Trust that we will be able to handle whatever comes. I've been reminding myself to trust myself, too.
I'm hopeful that the next six months will be full of anticipation, joy, nesting, and peace. The time has already been passing quickly. August will be here soon. For now, I'm asking myself, "How do I want to use my energy?" This is my mantra for this pregnancy.
We can finally announce here on the blog that our family of three is expecting another baby in mid-August. It feels good to be able to write about it. It is, after all, a big part of what's happening in our lives, and it's been noticeably absent from this record for the last thirteen weeks.
We shared the news with Anna this weekend, which was, for us, so very exciting and special. I'd prepared myself for some very tough questions, but I think those will be coming later. Throughout the day, after we told her, we could literally see questions forming on her face. They were all about the baby, though. She was so focused on having a REAL baby in the house, one that can REALLY have his or her diaper changed, one that will cry, eat, sleep, poop, and drink milk. She is so excited to be a big sister. We are so excited for her. Of course, we're excited for us, too.
As far as the pregnancy goes, I've been so fortunate NOT to have morning sickness. I have been extremely and typically exhausted, moreso than last time. I've also been having more cravings than I did with Anna...pickles (cliche, I know), mustard, carbs carbs carbs, ice cream, chocolate please. Forget the veggies I usually love.
This pregnancy has it's own challenges, though. I feel like this one's been all about statistics...three percent, four percent, five percent. Our baby has a three percent chance of developing heart block due to an antibody I have in my blood. We have already made agonizing decisions about treatment if this were to develop, decisions which, to me, seem out the realm of any parents decision-making ability. Due to my "advanced maternal age," or as I like to call it, the geriatric pregnancy, we were offered a First Trimester Screening to assess our baby's risk chromosomal abnormalities. This revealed the baby has a four percent chance of having Down's Syndrome. And, after two days of spotting this week, we were told we still have a five percent chance of having a miscarriage. While the odds seem to be in our favor, the risks for heart block and DS are much higher than in the average population. And as our high-risk doctor pointed out, the only numbers that make a parent feel any relief are 0 percent and 100 percent. Needless to say, Blake and I have struggled to find peace and calm these last few weeks.
A conversation with a dear friend this weekend helped me to remember some things, things that we can easily lose sight of in our medicalized society: 1) While there is so much we know about pregnancy and keeping mom and baby healthy, there's a lot that cannot be explained. It is, after all, a miraculous process unfolding inside; 2) We have very little control. We can do a lot to ensure a healthy pregnancy, but there are some things we can do absolutely nothing about. What will be, will be; 3) Trust the process. Trust that we will be able to handle whatever comes. I've been reminding myself to trust myself, too.
I'm hopeful that the next six months will be full of anticipation, joy, nesting, and peace. The time has already been passing quickly. August will be here soon. For now, I'm asking myself, "How do I want to use my energy?" This is my mantra for this pregnancy.
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