Miscellaneous Fun

I've been soaking up a new book during the evenings after Anna goes to sleep. As I settled into bed at Blake's parents' on Wednesday night, I pulled The Pact, by Jodi Picoult, off of the bookshelf, expecting to read a few pages and quickly fall asleep. I forgot to bring my current read with me, which I've still been tackling one page at a time, so I was shocked when, for the first time in almost 17 months, I didn't pass out. In fact, I read for an hour before forcing myself to put the book down and go to sleep. Every night since, I've snuggled up with the same book, relishing the words, the characters, and the little bit of escape. I'm not sure if it's the book or the fact that we've been getting longer stretches of uninterrupted sleep at night, in spite of, or maybe because of, Anna's hit-or-miss nap routine. Regardless, I'm enjoying the process, and I'm hoping I can finally finish The Poisonwood Bible soon.

We were invited to Kevin and Alicia's on Saturday along with our friends Steve and Casey. It had been many months since we had all three kids together, and it was the first time that all 9 of us hung out, ever! Our gatherings are a bit different than they were in the past, with much less alcohol being consumed and much more refereeing going on. Anna (17 months), Aidan (14 months), and Cassidy (12 months) had fun and played as toddlers typically do...mostly next to each other rather than with each other. At some point, Sweet Pea, the bravest of their two cats, made a brief appearance, which set Anna off on a mission to find her again. She repeated "Pea!" obsessively until Kevin finally brought the cat downstairs again. She didn't stop saying "Pea!" all night after we arrived home. Sweet Pea even made it into Anna's sleep talking script last night.

Casey and Cassidy, Me and Anna, Alicia and Aidan

Aidan loving the camera.

Adorable!

The family room turned playroom.

We also did some indoor Christmas decorating this weekend, and somehow, I convinced Blake to add more to our outside display. We bought a not-too-tacky lighted snowman and tree to put on our front porch. If we add something new every year we'll look like the Griswolds before too long.

All in all, we enjoyed our long weekend and our time at home. I'm going to miss Blake when he goes back to work tomorrow, and I'm already looking forward to next weekend; we're putting up our Christmas tree!

Thanksgiving 2009

Just a few photos from Thanksgiving at Grandma and Grandpa Richards' house today. I only managed to snap a couple of good ones. Anna met Great Aunt Jill, Great Uncle Rick and her second cousin, Mike, for the first time today. She also got reacquainted with Michelle, whom she met once before. The food was delicious and the company was good. There was much to be thankful for!

Anna was particularly grateful for this huge, cuddly puppy. She can't get enough of it.

The turkey pre-dressing. Anna was pretty interested in the bird.

Grandpa, Daddy, and Anna took a walk before family arrived for dinner.

Anna opening a talking tea pot from Aunt Jill and Uncle Rick. She loved it!

Michelle and Anna

Present Moment Gratitude

I like Thanksgiving. I like its meaning. I like the food. I like the parades and football on TV in the background. I like that it signals the beginning of Christmastime, which means family gatherings, good food and drinks, giving, and celebrating. I have happy memories of the holidays and generally feel cheerful when I see the lights, music, and decorations flooding my senses. And, although I try to practice a little bit of gratitude daily, I also like that the holiday reminds me to focus on the hundreds of things, big and little, that I am thankful for.

It's already felt like the holidays around here this week with my dad and step-mom visiting on Sunday and my mom arriving yesterday. She came to pick up my sister from U of M, just in time for me as it turns out, as Anna woke up this morning at 4:50am and for the fourth day in a row had little to no nap. She helped a lot, as I was also trying to get ready for our Thanksgiving with Blake's family. It's not often that we see almost all of the grandparents in one week. Today I'm grateful that our loving, caring, healthy families are nearby.

Despite Anna's sleep deprivation, she was in typically high spirits today. After grandma left, Anna and I drove to REI to look for a snow suit. We didn't find what we were looking for (I can't find a jacket and pant set that I'm crazy about that isn't unreasonably priced), but we had a ball trying on hats and snow gear, playing on the sleds, pulling clothes off the racks, and smiling at friendly shoppers. At home Anna proceeded to clean the bathtub with toilet paper and spit on the floor repeatedly, both of which were actually very cute. She LOVES to make spitting sounds over the sink after brushing her teeth, just like we do, SO I guess she's practicing her spitting skills in new areas. I was feeling very grateful for our happy, healthy, affectionate, sensitive, no-napping little girl this afternoon and for the opportunity to be with her everyday to witness her escapades.

I'm also feeling grateful that Blake is on vacation for the remainder of this week and that we get to spend the weekend together, putting up Christmas decorations, eating leftovers, and taking Anna to the park. It will be one of the last unplanned weekends we share for a while. Then the festivities begin. I'm looking forward to recording our holiday season with Anna in words and pictures here over the next few weeks. This blog has been a gift for me, for Anna, and for our family that I'm grateful for everyday.

A Walk to the Park

We made two trips to the park this weekend. Anna has been loving our neighborhood parks more and more these days, grinning wildly on the swing and glowing all the way down the slide. I can understand why...I hopped on the swing yesterday for the first time in years, and it felt SO good to pump my legs and fly. Papa and Grandma Mox visited today, so we all meandered (with Anna walking, it's a very slow trek) to the playscape. You can tell Anna loved her time with Papa and Grandma today!

Anna starting out pushing the wagon. She's checking Grandpa out.

Just a cute picture of Daddy and Anna on the way.

Big smiles on the swing.

Waiting for a push.

Grandma and Anna.

Not sure what the guys are talking about here?

Waiting for Daddy to give her a push.

Simply bliss!

Opportunities for Learning

I'm noticing today that I give myself a blog pep talk about once per week, and with the end of a relatively long week (at least from a napping perspective) coming to an end, I'm feeling the desire to, once again, highlight the positive, because it can be a little too easy to focus on the negative when you're tired and a bit worn out.

There's a phrase in coaching that I often used with clients that seems particularly relevant for me right now:

"There is no failure, only learning."

Yesterday was a particularly challenging nap day, and as I was rocking Anna at the end of it, breathing deeply, and trying to untangle the mess of tense energy that she and I had woven, I was thinking of all that I am learning about life, about myself, and about Anna with each new day and each challenge we face. The list I came up with was lengthy. Specifically, this week's napping hurdles taught me a lot. Each time she didn't sleep, I learned a little something about how to approach the next time. I also learned a lot about myself. Of course, I didn't see the light of learning in the moment. I was too busy getting flustered with another "failed" attempt.

It seems babies and toddlers are constantly in some kind of transition. Something is always changing with their napping, feeding, motor development, language development, and so on. I am not fond of transitions. Even good transitions can be difficult for me to manage. Anna changes daily, and with each change she makes, we have to change as well. I always feel a bit behind on her latest trend; I'm rushing to catch up with her and feel like I don't knowing what the heck I'm doing. I'm still stuck in our old routine and haven't figured out what she needs or when, like a new nap schedule or a return to the old one, if only for a day. This tends to be when I get flustered and when it's important for me to step back, observe, and give some thought to what I am learning.

I don't make this shift in thinking nearly as much as I did when I was coaching all the time. I could benefit from it as we navigate the transition from two naps down to one, as we manage food throwing, and as we generally learn how to raise a toddler. Right now it feels like we take one step forward and two steps back in the napping arena. Not coincidentally, Anna is literally taking steps that are, I'm sure, contributing to the forward and backward nature of her napping. Everyday she is getting more and more adventurous, and just today she braved the path from the ottoman to the coffee table to the kitchen chair all by herself. She will be walking everywhere by the end of the weekend. Then we'll be on to new things and even more opportunities for learning!

As a side note, because I'm highlighting positive stuff, I have to note that Anna actually took a two hour nap today! I felt like a new person, even thought I spent most of the time cleaning the kitchen and cooking. And, the other really good news: Blake and I bought tickets to see U2 next summer. I am absolutely beyond excited about this. I can't wait!

Crock Pot Fajitas

I made these fajitas tonight for dinner, and we all agreed they were amazing (even Anna loved them). We found the original version of this recipe in an e-mail that my step-mom forwarded a few weeks ago, which included an unbelievable number of crock pot recipes. We made a few small changes, like using skirt steak instead of flank steak. I imagine these would be great for a big group of people as well!

Not pretty, but very tasty!

Crock Pot Fajitas

1.5 pounds skirt steak, cut into 6 portions

1 large onion, chopped

1 medium green bell pepper, cut into 1/2 inch pieces

1 tbsp chopped fresh cilantro

1 tsp chili powder

1 tsp ground cumin

1 tsp ground coriander

1 tsp fresh minced garlic

1/4 tsp salt

1 14.5-oz can diced tomatoes

flour tortillas

shredded cheese (whatever kind you like)

avocado

fresh tomato

sour cream

Combine steak, onion, green pepper, herbs and spices in crock pot. Cover with tomatoes and cook on low for 8 hours.

Remove steak from crock pot, shred into bite-size pieces, and return to the pot to keep warm. Fill flour tortillas with crock pot mixture and top with cheese, avocado, tomato, and sour cream (or whatever toppings you love).

I Love the Way...

Although this is a blurry picture of Anna, I had to post it...the look on her face makes me so happy.

The way Anna randomly waves her hand or pats herself on the head, signaling me to sing "Goin' to Boston" or "I've Got the Rhythm in My Head," songs from our Wednesday morning music class.

The way Anna reaches up to the sky whenever I say "Guess What?," because she knows I'm going to say "I love you THIIIISSS much!" while reaching my hands up to the sky.

The way Anna giggles uncontrollably when I sniff her toes and say "Peeeeuuuu!" And the way she signs "Again!" while putting her toes up to my nose.

The way Anna's eyes light up, her hands and arms flap like a bird, and she grunts "Ooh, ooh, ooh" when she gets excited. She kinda sounds like Arsenio Hall.

The way Anna rests her head on my left shoulder for snuggles and tucks her left arm down by her side to get extra cozy. She's learned how much I love this and now knows it will delay can delay diaper changes by minutes, because I just can't get enough.

The way Anna signs "up," "please," and "help" with such intensity.

The way she sticks out her bottom lip for no reason at all, and the way her mouth hangs wide open whenever she's focused.

The way she vigorously sways her hips back and forth whenever she hears music.

The way she carefully dabs at her own mouth and ours with her washcloth after meals. She likes to do it herself.

The way she claims "Ahhh-oowww!" (uh-oh) anytime something falls on the floor.

The way she bends her thumb up and down in an attempt to copy my index finger when it signals "Come here."

A Visit from Great Grandma Ruth

Anna and Great Grandma Ruth

Anna and Great Grandma Ruth met for the first time today, and I think they both had a great time! It seems whenever the McIntyre side of the family gets together for holidays, we are already committed to one of our other families, hence the delayed meeting. It didn't take Anna long to warm up though, and as soon as she did, she had an agenda. She wanted to practice walking between us. Just like Sunday, she wore a path in the carpet, and she tired us both out!

Anna mid-stride, making her way back to me for the 100th time.

Anna taking a break to do some yoga? Actually she was trying to stand up (without pulling herself up on something). She did do it once today, for the first time ever!

Thanks, Ruth, for coming to visit us today. We're so glad we were able to spend some time with you.

'Tis the Season

We had another weekend of unseasonably warm weather and another weekend rolling in the leaves. Anna is loving the time outside, and so are we. Although I think it's WAY too early to decorate for Christmas and was a bit irritated by the entire snowman-Santa-manger displays lit up in our neighborhood the day after Halloween (we haven't even enjoyed Thanksgiving yet), on Saturday, after enough begging, Blake agreed to put up Christmas lights.

Every year we have the light discussion. Every year I want lots of lights. Every year Blake plays the scrooge, but eventually agrees to climbing the ladder once again. Unfortunately, we usually get around to the lights when it's sleeting, freezing, and miserable outside. The entire process was so much nicer in the warm weather. We made it through the planning and execution without insult or injury.

Contemplating the climb. Blake isn't fond of heights.

A fuzzy picture of the finished product. I wanted the triangle above the arch lit too, but that was asking too much!

It looks like we're ready for Christmas! We won't be turning on the lights until after Thanksgiving, though. It just doesn't feel right to me, and it uses too much energy (this is always Blake's argument for not doing lights at all).

After seeing Anna's passion for pumpkins this fall, I'm wondering what holiday icons she'll become obsessed with this season. I'm sure we'll be hearing her version of "Santa" or "Snowman" very soon. I hope so, because now that she's over the pumpkins, we're back to repeating "Ma-moo" (vacuum) hundreds of times per day.

A Step in the Walking Direction

I had a different post almost ready to go this afternoon, and then Anna decided to walk! Take a look...

After we arrived home from an afternoon out and about, we threw the lasagna in the oven and settled on the floor to play with Anna. She surprised us by eagerly accepting our offer to practice walking (it's been weeks since she's taken any independent steps). This time something was very different. She let go of our hands without hesitation. She just couldn't get enough, and she raced between us more times than I could count. With each round, I could see her confidence growing. At one point she even walked around the table to reach Blake when he stretched the distance between us. And, the few times that she fell, she quickly stood back up and kept at it. She looked so happy...and proud. Blake and I were so happy for her and proud, too. It was a very sweet moment.

Although she's not letting go of the furniture to walk just anywhere yet, this is a big step that will build her confidence and courage. I guess the gates are going up tomorrow!

Sewing and The Handmade Dress Patterns GUEST GIVEAWAY

I've never considered myself particularly crafty or creative. I SO want to be, but I don't think I'm a "natural." I also haven't given myself much of a chance, yet.

My sister-in-law, Lisa, is one of those people who makes all sorts of handmade items. She posted her pattern for an apron last May, which inspired me to sew my first ANYTHING since home economics in 7th grade, maybe. I loved it...both the apron and the act of making it. I love following clear instructions that lead me to a finished product. It was meditative in a way.

My first project.

Since that apron, I purchased this shirt pattern, recommended by Lisa, and some new fabric to make it as well as another apron, but neither have been started, mostly due to lack of time I guess. I've been cooking and blogging a lot. But, I'm determined to do some more sewing soon, especially because I want to make something for Anna for Christmas. I'm thinking puppets. She doesn't have any, and I think she'd love them. I saw these cute puppets in the Land of Nod catalogue, and I think I can make something similar. I'm committing here to give it a shot!

Lisa inspired this post yesterday when she posted a link to Grosgrain, a cool blog with a cool giveaway that could provide me with even more motivation to get crafty for Anna! Check it out...

The Grass is Always Greener

I've been feeling sentimental lately, even in the midst of a challenging couple of weeks with Anna. I know we all do this: fantasize about how much easier it will be WHEN. For us, that's when, if...she sleeps through the night, she takes consistent naps, she can eat peanut butter, we can do arts and crafts together, she can tell me what hurts...

I know, intellectually, it won't be easier if and when we get to this place, because we'll just trade one set of challenges for another set, like potty training and juggling another baby, maybe.

This week, I've been crumbling at the most random moments, recognizing the sweetness and fleeting nature of this time with Anna. It won't be long that we can take our time getting breakfast ready, breaking mid-oatmeal-stir to read a book. It won't be forever that we can rock and rock in her room, with no place to hurry off to. Yesterday she fell asleep in my arms at a time I didn't expect, and when her lips gently parted, I could smell her sweet breath on my face. All snuggled up next to me, I remembered, as I often do in the quiet moments, how precious it is to be in this space with her.

I also remember in these moments how I am absent from them sometimes. The "Am I doing enough for/with her?" question still runs through my mind most days. I find myself wondering if it's OK that we just hung around the house yesterday, cooking, doing laundry, coloring, eating, jumping between the couch cushions on the floor and the piles of laundry. I think about what I could/should be doing both with and without her. In those moments, I'm not present, and I miss out on the beauty of this time with Anna.

Today I saw three hawks. One of them Anna and I saw in the few seconds that she and I happened to be looking out the front window. It flew toward the front door and up over our house. It was close enough that I could see the detail of it's white and brown chest. It brought me back to center, to the present moment. I often see hawks when I need to get grounded. They remind me that I am on my path, that no matter what I'm doing or not doing, we're going to be OK. And, most importantly, they remind me of the importance of just watching, like a hawk does, this moment we're in right now.

Things To Do With Crayons

1. Take them out of the box, put them back in the box, and repeat.
2. Pound on the table with them.
3. Put as many as you can in each hand, and scoot around the table.
4. Put them in your mouth over and over again, even after mama makes it VERY clear they are not a snack food.
5. Throw them on the ground and look at them.
6. Do NOT color with them on the paper canvas that mama taped to the coffee table; rip the paper apart and attempt to eat the tape.

Cereal Heaven

I love cereal, especially healthy, hearty cereal. So, when Blake came home from work and told me about [me]&goji, an online company that makes custom artisanal cereal, I was intrigued and pretty excited.

I love the website and the concept. You select a cereal base, add fruits and nuts and seeds, and then they ship it to you. For someone who has difficulty making even the smallest decision, the huge selection of ingredients was a bit overwhelming...but I still think it's cool. Actually, they do have predetermined mixes you can choose from, including gluten-free options. One of the best features: as you create your mix, the nutrition information populates a blank "capsule" (which is their term for their cereal packaging), so you know the calories, fat, protein, etc. as you are putting it all together.

I just ordered my first capsule. The only downside is the cost, but I figure I have to try it at least once! Hopefully it will be as tasty as it is healthy.

Great Expectations

I love our weekends at home, particularly after a string of busy travel weekends. With the weather feeling hopeful, I had high hopes for a relaxing family day this Saturday.

Our agenda for the weekend included groceries, play time outside, a run for me, baking and cooking, golf for Blake, Aunt Amy and Uncle Chris' baby shower on Sunday, and of course, sleep. Groceries were first on the list. Blake and I were a bit (OK, a lot) short with each other Saturday morning as we attempted to construct a grocery list and menu plan for the coming week, maybe because of the last two weeks of sickness and sleepiness combined with jet lag and the time change. It took much debate and too much time to get us out the door. It felt even more painful in my mind, because I had such great expectations for our weekend. This vibe rang through our day until I went for a run in the afternoon and Blake took Anna to the park. We had some space and time to chill, and when we met back at the house, we played outside. At the end of the day, we did have some fun...

Anna loved playing in the leaves.

Most of the time was actually spent removing leaves from her mouth. Apparently they taste like candy.

It seems that our morning exhausted Anna so much that she actually passed out in the car on the way to the grocery store, and she slept for 70 minutes, something she NEVER does while driving. Then, that evening, for the first time EVER, she slept for 12 hours straight. I went to bed early and woke BEFORE she did, wondering, as a worrisome mom does, why she never woke up. I had no expectations for sleep this weekend. It was a wonderful, unexpected gift that Blake and I relished over blueberry pancakes that morning.

I notice this happens a lot: I have high expectations that aren't met, I get upset for a while, and then things turn around. And, sometimes, actually a lot of the time, the unexpected happens. It reminds me of the conversation that Blake and I had about a year ago when we, for the first time since Anna's birth, went out together. We contemplated out loud the theme of our first months with a new baby, and I suggested the theme would be "No Expectations." Blake, maybe more accurately, suggested instead that the theme would be "Expect Everything." I guess this theme still applies to our lives today.

By the way, after the lengthy list-making fiasco, we decided that, from now on, our menu and grocery list will be compiled throughout the week so that it's DONE by the time we do our shopping. And, we are rotating the shopping responsibility. One week Blake will do it on Monday evening, one week I will do it with Anna on Monday morning, and one week we will do it as a family on Saturday or Sunday. We'll see how this new experiment works out!

Table Manners

Apparently Anna is comfortable in her new Stokke chair. Out of the blue she reclined back and hiked her leg up on the table, as if she's been doing it all along. She just sat there contentedly until I suggested she ought to remove her foot from the dinner table. Of course, it became a fun game as soon as I commented. It's hard not to laugh when your kid does something cute like this. Unfortunately, laughing and picture-taking does not promote improved table manners.

By the way, the new chair is wonderful in so many ways, but it definitely has one big drawback...it allows for way more food to hit the floor than the old highchair set up did. Just one more reason to get a dog. Right, Blake?!

Hand Warmers

My spider-wrangling girlfriend, Kara, is a woman of many talents. In addition to capturing spiders, she knits and sews and teaches Pilates. When she visited a few weeks ago, I couldn't help but notice the gorgeous knit hand warmers she wore. I LOVED them, so she offered to make me a pair. Here they are...

Gorgeous, right!? I have a few pairs on order for Christmas gifts already. I think they're perfect for moms who want to keep their hands warm but need free fingers to dig around in a purse or diaper bag.

Kara is in the process of getting her Etsy site up and running, so for now, if you want to purchase a pair of these, you can e-mail her directly (kaalyco@yahoo.com).

It's Official

At least I think it is. Anna has refused her pacifier completely for a number of days now. She shunned it occasionally for the last couple of weeks. I think she decided she was done with it because we wanted her to want it so badly in the middle of the night when the last tooth was pushing through, and only nursing would soothe her. She would actually get angry when we tried to give it to her. Stubborn little thing!

We thought we would have to battle to get her to give it up. I'm glad we don't have to tackle that one. I haven't thrown them away yet, just in case; but, maybe I should. Out of sight, out of mind!

Garden Lessons

We cleaned up our garden on Sunday. Only our chard remains. It looks so different than it did here. We learned a lot as first-timers; we have a few things we will consider when planning for next year's planting season:

1. We need more space. This year we had one 4x8 bed. It was packed tight...too tight. We want more of almost every vegetable we planted this year.
2. We have to thin our veggies earlier and tend to our herbs more diligently. Our herbs did not yield much this year.
3. We'll be more strategic about the location of large plants that can shade smaller ones. This year our tomato plant covered our peppers, which stunted their growth.
4. No broccoli next year. Everyone tells us it's hard to grow, and that was our experience. We had huge stalks with only a small amount of fruit.
5. Chard is a GREAT vegetable, as it produces all season long. We'll definitely do this again.
6. We'll plant almost everything earlier in the season. We were a bit late, especially with our peppers.
7. If we have enough space, we'd like to consider kale, green beans, zucchini, and cucumber.
8. We buy A LOT of produce. Next year we plan to buy a share in an organic CSA as well. Canning is on my list of things to learn before next summer.
9. We need to research and possibly try an organic fertilizer for next year.
10. Hope for better weather next summer!!

Hope

I'm getting ready for bed. I really need to go NOW, because Anna could wake up again any minute. But, I also need a minute to sit, to reflect, and to write stuff down.

Something is keeping Anna from sleeping well. It's her teeth. It's the flu. It's I-don't-know-what. After I posted on Saturday night, she woke up, and she was awake again throughout the night. Last night, she suddenly woke up congested, after two full days of seeming healthy. Even now she's struggling to stay asleep for naps. She is, quite obviously, tired. So are we.

I think she has a lot going on right now, on top of molars pushing up and flu viruses attacking. She is, after all, a toddler in almost every sense of the word. And, I think it must be tough being a toddler. I returned to a section of Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense last night, after noticing changes in Anna's eating behavior. Today, although she ate more like she usually does for the first time in days (presumably due to teething and sickness last week), she's still refusing foods that she previously loved. And, she's testing me regularly at the table. She looks at me, holds her food filled fist over the side of the high chair, waits for a reaction, and regardless of how I respond or don't, she drops it knowingly. It's maddening and cute all at once. Anyway, this excerpt from the book struck me:

"The toddler's task is to establish autonomy--to find out and demonstrate to herself and to you that she is a separate person from you--over and over and over again. She finds out that she is separate by trying to do everything she can and by saying no a lot, because whenever she resists what you want she proves to herself that she is separate from you...She has a tremendous need to be independent, to be successful, to explore, and to have limits. And she feels altogether ambivalent about it all...Dr. Spock called the child this age a "demon explorer." He and Arnold Gesell, another early child development specialist, described toddlers as demanding, assertive, mercurial, pre-cooperative, contrary, obstinate, exasperating, imperious, balky, negativistic, bossy, and fussy. Hardly encouraging. But notice they said pre-cooperative. That should give you hope."

Ugh. I'm not sure this gives me hope. Given my desire to be an expert parent the first time around without any previous experience, it's a bit scary. I don't have a clue how to parent a "demon explorer." I'm sure I'll figure it out (and so will Blake), and I'll make some mistakes along the way. I just hope that I learn from them, so that Anna gets the parenting she needs. Maybe it is tough being a toddler, but I think it's kinda tough being the parent of a toddler, too.

What amazes me through all the sleeplessness, teething, and illness? Anna still manages to be FULL of smiles throughout the day. She forgives my mistakes. Most of the time she is not, in my mind, a demon explorer. She is a super sensitive, perceptive, curious, and joyful little girl who gives incredibly heart-warming snuggles. This gives me hope.