I've read a number of blogs and had a number of conversations over the last month or two that have me thinking about this today. It's apparent that most of us, at one time or another, feels less-than-confident in our role as mother. Why wouldn't we? Being a mom (or a dad) is a tough job. Not only is it hard physical and mental work, it is emotionally intense. Love doesn't even begin to describe the depth and breadth of our feelings for our children. We do nearly anything to ensure that they are protected and given opportunities to learn, to grow, and to feel a sense of peace, fulfillment, and happiness. We strive to be good parents, and we sometimes question ourselves, particularly when we're doing it all for the first time. It seems like too often we (me, specifically) are striving to not just be a good parent, but rather, to be the perfect parent. Obviously, there is no such thing.
Today was one of those times for me - I was questioning a number of things we're doing or not doing, wondering how it is impacting Anna, hoping we're doing the best thing for her, and generally not feeling totally confident about it. After talking about my concerns with Blake and getting my reality check (he reminded me that she is happy, healthy, and thriving), I felt a bit better. It also helped to remind myself of something that I learned from my coach training and always, always, always held in the forefront of my mind while coaching: each and every one of us is unique and has an infinite array of variables impacting us, even from moment to moment. We're all so different...I think most of us can be confident that we're doing our best with what we're given, and we can be confident that that is good enough.
My phone calls to the doctor's office are much less frequent these days; in fact, the receptionist commented the other day about how she hasn't talked to me in ages. I hope this is a sign that my confidence is growing. It may not being growing as quickly as Anna is, but it is growing!
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It might also be comforting to know that even as "seasoned" parents we still question whether or not what we're doing or saying is the right thing at the right time for our kids. I still have to stop and think if what I'm doing is the right thing; as the right thing for me to do with you may not be the right thing for me to do with Meg and Kaity. So, we're always learning, revising, and questioning what's right. It's comforting to know that we don't have to be perfect, and even if we do something not right...kids are truly resilient and make it through!
Trust your gut that what you're doing is the right thing, and what's right for someone else may not always work for you, Blake and Anna. Anna is a beautiful, healthy and happy little girl, and I think you're doing an amazing job with her. I went home after our playdate and was telling Michael about all the cooking, gardening, etc. that you do and I'm in awe of how much you manage to get accomplished being home with her. I tend to get nothing done, and feel terrible that we don't do more when we're home for a day. I really enjoyed our playdate, both for getting some adult QT to chat with you and for our girls to get a better chance to know each other. I hope we can continue to plan for get togethers.
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