After a horrid, purple-faced-can't-talk-because-I'm-crying-so-hard, leg-grabbing-and-body-throwing good-bye when I left for Spinning last night, I wasn't sure how today's departure would go. This separation, though, was on Anna's terms. She wanted to go, even if I could not (because I'm hosting book club tonight) and this, somehow, is the only stretch of two days we had available for her to go before the exhibit is over. Needless to say, she was absolutely fine when we kissed and hugged and waved good-bye.
As for me, I spent Sunday evening washing and putting away dishes. Seriously, it took well over an hour, even after Blake tackled some of them. I was planning ahead, knowing that my meeting after Spinning on Monday would get me home late, leaving little time for packing, picking up the toys, and going through the mail piles before the cleaners arrived this morning. And, I knew Anna and I would be in a hurry to get out of the house so she could be on her way to Mo's. It's been a rather nice balance of quiet time with Anna on Sunday and Monday, and frantic productivity in the evenings.
Now, after saying good-bye to Anna mid-day and making stops at HomeGoods and Panerra, I am in my clean house with absolutely nobody else. It is utterly, eerily quiet. In almost four years, I'm pretty confident that I have not been alone in my home in the middle of the day on a Tuesday. While it does feel bizarre, and I certainly miss Anna already, it's strangely liberating. While I ought to be napping, I don't think I can rest. Soon, I'll be making bruschetta and pancetta wrapped asparagus and smothered grapes for my book club girlfriends - alone. I'll be sipping leftover soup for dinner while Blake golfs - alone. I'll be cleaning out the basement, running errands, meeting with the painter, and nesting - alone. A day or two of this will be glorious. I'm an introvert, after all. But, I have no doubt I'll be recharged and ready for Anna's return. Too much time alone isn't good for me either.
I was talking with a girlfriend today as I walked in the house and peered around the silent corners of the kitchen and family room. I'd envisioned this moment the night before when I couldn't sleep. "I'm glad you're on the phone with me for this," I said. I thought I might feel kinda lonely. Then, in the same breath, without thinking came something along the lines of "I don't know what to do with myself - I might have to dance around the house naked." I won't do it. But, I COULD if I wanted to!